I’m Disappointed

I would not describe what I am feeling as anger. I would describe it as disappointment. I am disappointed in those who dismissed the hate, sexism, racism and extreme narcissism to elect someone who is “Strong Minded” and “Says what he means”. I am disappointed in those who believe everything the news broadcasts without any question. I am disappointed in those who want “Good old fashioned family values” (From the 1950s). I’m disappointed that there are people in this “Free” country who feel a woman president would be worse than my sons and my life being in danger due to our skin tone alone. I am extremely disappointed in all of you who believe your shit does not stink. Are you that jaded? Did you pay any attention in school? Maybe you have no compassion and believe “Every man for himself”. Maybe you are your antichrist. I do not know what is wrong with you, but I do hope it gets fixed soon.

People close to me have already been verbally abused in public. It’s not too soon before that becomes life threateningly physical. Trump is not a license to hate, and the whole world is laughing at us. The whole world is ashamed of us. The whole world is afraid of stupid people in large groups, Which this country has proven itself to be nothing short of.

America I am disappointed in you. I hoped too hard that you knew better.

New Mom Training?

I must admit getting up this early is kind of nice. Not only is there coffee already made, but it is quiet. It is quiet outside, and the baby is quiet unlike in the evenings. Where everything is horrible and he is starving to death, as if he doesn’t suck the life force out of me every couple of hours. Yesterday at 10:42 pm marked his being his own sentient being for 3 weeks. So that’s exciting! I wish there were words to describe the moment when he was first plopped on my chest. The smell as well of him when he came out did something to my brain and made me happier than I think I have ever felt in my life so far. Despite the lack of good sleep and being just as scatter brained as I was when I was pregnant, I wouldn’t give any of this up. Says the person that at one point in their life didn’t want anything to do with babies at all. Who now has one, and fish and a cat… How did I ever not give instincts the credit they deserve?

America, guns, violence, Muslim, Christian, terrorism…

Sitting in an arm chair at 38 weeks pregnant watching people be murdered,  watching people care more about a hunk of steel than a human life, watching people kill people for no reason (for there is never a reason) and blame a totally different group of people. Makes me wonder if maybe R.E.M. was right. It is the end of the world as we know it, and I do feel fine. Then again maybe I don’t feel fine, maybe I feel sick. I know everyone else watching the violence and hateful rhetorics unfold, those who lost someone to senseless violence, those who can look at disaster and still see glimmer of light, know that blaming a group of people and not acting to prevent violence does nothing.

Sitting in an arm chair at 38 weeks pregnant with my family around me wondering what,  if anything in particular, makes people think karma and mother nature won’t make the world the way it needs to be… everyone/everything is here until nature says “no longer”. We need not take any matters into our own hands. By our circadian rhythm is how we live in peace.

Sitting in am arm chair at 38 weeks pregnant waiting for this child to want out of me, thinking maybe the world will fix itself. Until that day everyone unclenches their buttcheaks and calms their tatas, well just have to keep fighting with one another and reminding ourselves to live and let live. 

I love depressing media!

Being on social media all day is, as most have already figured out, extremely over stimulating. Not only have I not been able to focus while I’m trying to get things done and ready before my little peanut monkey demon baby gets here. I haven’t been able to focus on my game plan for after he gets here. So I sit in my recliner and scroll through Facebook. Where all there are posts about right now is the election, mud slinging, and good old American hatred.

While a good roast can be amusing, there is a point it can be too much. I think I’ve found that point. There just aren’t enough cute animal videos to combat the hateful rhetoric and tragic events taking place due to the hateful rhetoric.

I feel as though I should live in a cave, have an inbred family that preys on unsuspecting travelers and hundreds of years later have my story turned into a horror movie. One that no one believes could have actually happened because it’s just so horrendous and gruesome… or I could just stay indoors and let the world pretend I don’t exist for a while, so I can focus on my paranormal work, and getting an idea of what I want to do in the future.

Writing would be good right? It’s one of those things where practice makes perfect and I’m going to be up every couple of hours with a newborn. So why not live off of coffee and baby cuddles?

Oh and I live in an old Montana mining town, so I can go for walks, and the cememtary is right across the street where my little family can get headstone rubbings and then do research on the people we find names for.

Now I only need to hunker down and do that, before I end up living in a cave with an inbred family that preys on unsuspecting travelers. Then I’ll work on returning to work.

Yeah!! I’ll practice my writing, maybe even get back into reading… and paranormal/supernatural investigating, possibly inter-dimensional inquisiting. That last one though takes a lot more practice than I might have time for at first. Say good-bye to over stimulation, and now it’s time for a nap.

Willful Ignorance

In this great age of information and how connected everyone is to one another, fact checking has become a must. Why is it that so many intelligent people choose not to? Since we’ve gone from books to radio; to radio and television; to television and the internet pre-fact checking has gone out the window. Not only can one not blindly believe everything they see on the internet, but one cannot trust everything they see on television either. Due to the fact they get a large portion of their stories from the internet just as we who use computers do. I know there are people who only watch Fox News and blindly take everything those orange conservative robots say as the absolute truth. I would say that those who only watch Fox News are saddening but then I remember that their generation is dying out and once they do things will get better. Maybe they’ve forgotten what it was like when they were our age and they wanted change to. When they wanted things to get better, maybe they have forgotten.  If old age really sets you into habits that hard, that resistance is possible, the road ahead is going to be rockier than the majority of us had hoped.

This was going to be an angry rant, but I cannot be so towards the person that inspired this post. They are only doing what they know to be right, whether it helps them or not. I can only hope that the results of the election in November 2016 help them to see that the old way will only repeat history and solidify what the rest of the humans on Planet Earth believe of us (The United States), deeper into stone. Not only would that be a devastating blow to the generations before us who became hardcore conservative creatures of habit, but that will be what causes our extremely messed up country full of prideful asshats to bring the movie ‘Idiocracy’ to fruition. Don’t get me wrong that was a really good movie, but it is only good as fiction. Did you hear me people?

“’Idiocracy’ is only good as fiction”

Okay, now that I’ve got that out I feel a million times better. The point I am trying to make while containing the fury that I don’t have is that no one can believe everything anyone says without fact checking, and if you do I pity you for allowing yourself to be willfully ignorant.

What to do, What to do?

It is 1:30 in the morning and I’ve been awake since 2:00 in the afternoon. I was tired since I over slept, but now I am wide awake and still have no real motivation to do anything productive with my awake time. Where is my motivation? Seriously, where did it go? If I don’t stress my self out trying to get my projects going, and actually make a video or two. I think I would be much better off. The fear of not liking what I am working on, or finishing it and not liking it is getting to me. The daydreaming and anxiety of coming in contact with people has something to do with this as well. Although I do fairly alright when I am thrust into social situations. Afterwards is a totally different story, however.

What am I to do at now 1:40 in the morning? Do I investigate the strange noises outside my door and inquire as to why the solar powered owl on my window sill keeps moving in the dark? Or, alternatively do I sit outside and ponder as to whether or not a bear or bobcat might wander into our yard and maul me? These are the important questions people, the immensely significant questions that one, such as myself, must try my hand  at the devastatingly difficult task of answering. Or, again, alternatively, I could just sit on my bed and type random nonsense into my computer that will get posted to my blogs. The blogs that may someday still never be read, but by a handful of humans scouring the internet for that last bit of nonsense to top off their night before they fall into a deep slumber. I envy those of you who fall into deep slumbers in the dead of night. My body seems to think the dead of night is morning and morning is instant death.

Oh, dear sweet bejeezus, it is 1:51 in the morning and I still have no motivation to do anything productive… #mylife

My hate fire tank is over-filled…

I’ve still got a long way to go in this life I’m living. That doesn’t stop the fueling of my hate fire when I see and hear other beings that inhabit this world. Narcissists want power over those they deem unworthy. Sadists are making excuses, pinning the blame on their victims, for the horrible acts committed by them. Some humans are still having a difficult time grasping  the “Love Thy Neighbor” concept. It is freaking unexplained how I have not spontaneously combusted yet. Common sense and moral guidance are becoming sparse. This planet has been gracious enough not to implode what with all of the tomfoolery taking place on its surface. Why is the news filled with discommodious jackanapes? Asshats with a death wish are running rampant with no supervision until it is too late. I would rather live in peace amongst all the other humans and run the risk of pillaging by extraterrestrial beings than worry about being murdered by one of my own kind. My hate fire could not grow larger, it could not burn hotter, I can almost not contain it.