It is 1:30 in the morning and I’ve been awake since 2:00 in the afternoon. I was tired since I over slept, but now I am wide awake and still have no real motivation to do anything productive with my awake time. Where is my motivation? Seriously, where did it go? If I don’t stress my self out trying to get my projects going, and actually make a video or two. I think I would be much better off. The fear of not liking what I am working on, or finishing it and not liking it is getting to me. The daydreaming and anxiety of coming in contact with people has something to do with this as well. Although I do fairly alright when I am thrust into social situations. Afterwards is a totally different story, however.
What am I to do at now 1:40 in the morning? Do I investigate the strange noises outside my door and inquire as to why the solar powered owl on my window sill keeps moving in the dark? Or, alternatively do I sit outside and ponder as to whether or not a bear or bobcat might wander into our yard and maul me? These are the important questions people, the immensely significant questions that one, such as myself, must try my hand at the devastatingly difficult task of answering. Or, again, alternatively, I could just sit on my bed and type random nonsense into my computer that will get posted to my blogs. The blogs that may someday still never be read, but by a handful of humans scouring the internet for that last bit of nonsense to top off their night before they fall into a deep slumber. I envy those of you who fall into deep slumbers in the dead of night. My body seems to think the dead of night is morning and morning is instant death.
Oh, dear sweet bejeezus, it is 1:51 in the morning and I still have no motivation to do anything productive… #mylife